The Bachelor
by cristinaN
Summary: Can you fall madly in love when every pair of eyes in the nation is watching your every move?
1. Chapter 1

Hi, this is something completely different from what I've been doing but the idea was there and I had to get it out. This one's going to be short only 20 chapters. It's a romance and humor. Now it's not love at first sight for Edward and Bella but I promise they will get there you might even like Alice in this one. I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think. Will be updated weekly.

Disclaimer All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Beta'd by sjdavis84.**

* * *

"Jazz, man. Serious? Fuck off. You are not putting me on some reality show." I said taking a swing of my beer.

It was Thursday night, Jasper and I were out celebrating. We were celebrating my big case win and Jasper was celebrating his network's new show. Now I am happy for my friend. Jaspers produced some really high rated shows, but this time I'm not so sure. He's gone down the reality show road, which wouldn't bother me if he weren't trying to convince me to be on said reality show.

"Don't be like that. It's a good opportunity."

"Good opportunity for what?"

"You're the one saying your mom's been nagging you constantly about settling down."

For the past four years, mom's been on my case. "You need to settle down Edward. Haven't you found the right woman yet? I want grandchildren."

But I am not going to do some sleazy reality show just to shut my mother up.

"No. Run an ad or whatever the fuck it is you do to get people on those shows, only leave me out of it."

"Come on help me out here. You're an attractive guy." Jasper pointed out.

"Are you hitting on me?" I messed with him.

"Fuck off. But if you change your mind, I have the contract with me, all I need is a signature." He all but sang. I briefly wondered how much he's had to drink.

A few drinks later and we had company in the form of two very lovely ladies.

"You are a cutie aren't you?" I said to the blond on my lap.

I don't know how much it is I've had to drink, I stopped counting after ten shots but Jasper made sure the drinks kept coming and this cute blond, I forgot her name, kept grinding her ass on my cock.

"You need to stop that sweetheart." I leaned closer to her whispering in her ear.

"Why?" she asked batting her lashes at me.

"Because your gonna get fucked if you don't."

"Maybe I want you to fuck me." She said turning in my lap, kissing down the base of my throat.

* * *

Ahh, it's so damn bright in here. Where am I?

My eyes adjusted to the bright room. I was at Jasper's, in his guest room. Not the first time I've spent the night here.

I was naked, there was a pair of panties thrown on top of the bedside lamp. So I go laid, wish I could remember it.

Sitting up, my head was hurt even more, it felt like someone kept pounding and pounding on me.

I did this to myself. Every Time I get drunk, I always say never again, until the next time Jazz and I have a cause for celebration.

I threw on a pair of boxers Jazz had in the drawers here and went to the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face. It helped little, I think i'm going to go raid his medicine cabinet.

After I dragged myself up good, I found Jasper a smiling mess on the couch sandwiched in-between the two blonds from last night.

Blond one was in my dress shirt and blond two was only in her underwear.

"Good Morning Eddie." Blond one said.

I rubbed my fingers over my eyes why was she still here?

"You are right Mr. Jasper. Women are going to go crazy for him." Blond two said eyeing me from head to toe, licking her lips.

"And he's packing in all the right places." Blond one added.

"Why are you two still here?" I said pointing between the two skanks.

"Be nice." Jasper said. "They just wanted to get a glimpse of the first ever bachelor." He smiled.

"You still going on about that?" I said scratching my balls. What, they were itchy. The girls giggled, I don't know what they found so funny.

"You signed the contract last night Edward, I faxed it in first thing this morning." Jasper said.

I did what now?

"You are funny man." I laughed.

"I'm serious...here."

He handed me a copy of what appeared to be a contract. My name was filled in where needed and sure enough it was signed.

* * *

Four weeks later

I found myself in make-up, yeah you heard right make-up. I never thought I'd have that shit on my face, but apparently I need it according to the set director. I thought this was reality TV. Why do they need a set director? But then again what do I know about making a TV show.

I have been purposely ignoring Jasper for the past couple of weeks. I'm still pissed at him for the stunt he pulled, but I like messing with him too.

"All done Mr. Cullen. Good luck tonight." The guy doing my make-up said. He was homosexual, I was sure of that and he made no effort to hide the fact that he was checking my ass out which made me a little uneasy, I've never had another man check me out.

"Hey there, you are looking good." Jasper found me outside smoking a cigarette. "Put that shit out you are gonna smell like it. You wanna turn the girls off?"

And? They were all a bunch of money grabbing whores anyway, what does it matter to them what I smell like? They get appear on TV, apparently the show's dressing them, feeding them and housing them for the length of the show, so they get quite a sweet deal if you ask me. I can't imagine any respectable woman would come on this show and fight over a man with the nation watching. But hey, they were going to be fighting over me so I can't complain. If that ain't a boost to my ego I don't know what is.

"Hey, how come I don't get to see of these women before the show?" I asked the dick head I call my best friend.

"That's the point of the show."

"Come on a little peek. Show me a few pictures I don't need names. I can act surprised when I meet them." I whined like the bitch that I was.

Okay, so maybe I was a little excited about meeting 25 beautiful women. I hope they are beautiful.

"No, and besides I haven't even seen them. I didn't pick the girls. There was a whole team that did that."

"A whole team?" I raised a brow.

"Yeah. After you filled out the questionnaire. The girls were selected based on the answers you provided." He smirked.

The beloved questionnaire. Jasper had it delivered to my office by Fed Ex, the ass.

It was ten pages with bullshit questions.

What do you do for a living?

What are your interests?

What are your hobbies?

What food do you like?

What is your preferred wine?

What type of car do you drive?

"Guys, we are starting in five." One of the production crew told us.

"Good luck bachelor. Don't fuck it up!" Jasper patted me on the back.

Yeah, I wanted to knock that shit eating grin right off his face.

* * *

One by one the women arrived. So far none of them held my interest. They were all too boring.

Too fat. Not fat enough. Ugly. Attention seeking whore. Money hungry, the list goes on, I lost track what number we were up to, I feet hurt standing here.

The next woman appeared, a tall strawberry blond. She was wearing a revealing black dress that hugged her curves in a the right places.

Yum. I licked my lips. Now this is more like it, finally something good to look at.

"Hello, I'm Edward it's a pleasure to meet you…" I held my hand out to the sexy creature standing before me.

"Tanya and believe me it's a mighty fine pleasure to meet you Edward." She purred.

Meow...She wrapped her arms around my neck and placed a kiss on my cheek before taking that fine ass of hers inside. I watched her until she was inside, thinking I have to get inside of that.

The next woman to arrive was not like any of the other women I have meet tonight. She was short, definitely shorter than all the others. She had short jet black hair and crystal blue eyes. I can't lie she was an attractive woman but definitely not someone I would go fo ever.

"I'm Edward it's…" I stopped mid sentence when she charged at me.

Wrapping her arms around my neck, she was on the tips of her toes even her heels, to reach my ear.

"I'm Alice, and you are going to give me a rose tonight and keep me here or else I'm going to make your life a living hell. Got that Edward?" She hissed in my ear.

"Excuse me?" I asked not sure I heard her correctly. Was this little lady for real?

"You are not my type, but I have a bone to pick with your producer and that's why you are going to keep me here, deal?"

"Jasper?"

"Yes, Jasper fucking Whitlock." She spat his name out.

"You got it little lady." I smiled.

She smiled back it was an evil little smile making her look like the tiniest devil alive. Personally, I didn't care what her beef was with Jasper, but I'm gonna keep her here for as long as possible just to get the fucker back for what he did to me. Paybacks a bitch after all.

After the tiny devil had disappeared the next woman came. Jeez how many more are there?

This one was a complete opposite to short stuff. She was tall, blond and had a killer rack and rear.

"Hello I'm Edward, it's a pleasure to meet you." I held my hand out to her.

"I"m Rosalie. It's a pleasure to meet you too." She said slipping her hand into mine. I bought it to my lips and placed a small kiss on the back of her hand.

"Rosalie. That it a beautiful name, it suits you." I worked the charm.

"Thank you." She blushed.

"What brings you here?"

"Like every other woman here, to find love and hoping that might be with you." She said taking her hand back.

"Well, I look forward to getting to know you better Rosalie. I'll definitely be seeing you inside." I winked at her.

The last woman to show up was...I felt like I had just been punched in the gut. She took my breath away, I was lost for words.

She wasn't tall but she wasn't short either. She had long mahogany hair that hung down her back in loose curls. Her eyes a warm chocolate brown, I love chocolate. She had flawless skin like porcelain, it looked so soft I wanted to reach out and touch her.

"I'm Edward." I said in a breathy tone, what is wrong with me?

"I'm Isabella, but I prefer Bella." She said. Her voice...damn, I can imagine her screaming my name.

"Bella, you know that means beautiful?"

"That's the best you got?" She raised her brow at me. She's a feisty one, I can deal with that, I can do feisty. And because I couldn't control myself any more I touched her.

I ran the back of my fingers along her cheek. Just like I thought, silky smooth. What I didn't expect was for her to push my hand away.

"Hey, no touching you sleaze." She said. Her face had pissed off expression that I found cute.

I couldn't explain it, but the face she made. I'm going to be pissing her off all the time just to see that face.

"Sleaze? I'm the sleaze? What does that make you honey? You are on a show to meet a wealthy bachelor, so if I'm a sleaze then your a..."

"Don't even finish that sentence. If you must know I'm only here as a favour to a very good friend. So how about this, you avoid me for the night and I'll avoid you then you send me home and we'll never have to see each other again, got that pretty boy?"

See, what did I tell you? That face and she had a fire in her eyes to match it as she spoke.

I held my hand over my heart pretending to be hurt. Okay, I may have been an asshole to her, but damn she was fun to piss off.

Oh I am definitely keeping this one around, this is going to be one hell of a fun ride.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Beta'd by sjdavis84.**

* * *

I felt like a small child who had been forgotten over night in a candy store. Everywhere I turned I was surrounded by beautiful women and they were all fucking me with their eyes.

Ok so I have to hand it to Jasper this was a good idea for me, that is. Speaking of Jasper, what the hell was up with that Alice? I know but I had a feeling Jasper was in some deep shit with her.

But right now I didn't have any time to worry about Jasper's problem, not when I was in a room with 25 of the most fuck hot women I have ever seen. My head was turning in all directions, each woman I saw was more beautiful than the last. Finally I spotted my little firecracker, what did she say her name was? That's right Bella, Isabella, the name suits her perfectly.

She was standing outside by the water feature speaking to the hot blond, I think it was Rosalie? There were so many blonds here it was hard to remember all of their names.

The only name I had in mind now was Bella.

I tilted my head to one side taking all of her in from head to toe. She was fucking perfect, the dress she had on clung to her body in all the right places. Her ass was so round and supple, I wanted to grab it, squeeze it, take a bite out of it and oh so much more. Her tit's looked like they would fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. That was good, a good hand full, I couldn't determine if she was wearing a bra or not, god I hope not. I bet I could have her out of that dress in no time.

Fuck me, I was hard just staring at her. I shook myself out of it and wiped the drool from my mouth. I gulped my champagne and grabbed two more glasses, I was going to talk to her.

"Eddie!" A little screeching voice sounded from behind me.

I turned and here was my other favourite blond. Funny she didn't sound so mousy outside.

"Tanya..." I said.

"You remembered my name." She battered her eyelashes and held her hand over her heart like me remembering her name was a big thing.

"A beautiful thing like you? How could I forget." I said licking my lips.

She giggled and ran her hand up and down my arm. I shrugged and handed her the glass of champagne looks like Bella will have to wait.

"So Tanya. Where are you from?" I make small talk.

"New York. You?"

Small world I guess.

"Ain't that a coincidence so am I."

"No way!" She screeched. Damn my ear hurts, she's loud. I suppose that's not too much of a problem, I could always gag her.

"Well how old are you, what do you do?" She rushed out.

"I'm 33 and I am a criminal defence lawyer."

Yeah her eyes went wide at the mention of my job so did her hands for that matter. She trailed one finger down my shirt covered chest until she reached the top of my belt. She slowly leans in until her mouth is close to my ear.

"Wanna run upstairs?" She purrs.

"How about you hold that thought for later once they turn the cameras off?" I said.

How had I forgotten the cameras and crew around us.

"I'm holding you to that promise Eddie."

Eddie, damn I hate that nickname. I am definitely going to have to gag her.

She pressed her body firmly up against mine her arms going around my neck in a tight hug, not been left with much of an option I hugged her back one of my hands trailing down the length of her back stopping at the top of her plump ass.

In my perennial, I saw Bella looking at us shaking her head with what appeared to be a look of disgust on her face.

Yeah right, she was probably jealous it wasn't her in my arms now. I winked at her smirking like a motherfucker. She turned around quickly not giving me a second glance. I have managed to piss her off and oh boy is it ever fun.

I left Tanya's clingy arms and went to mingle with the rest of the women. I have to admit some were very beautiful. Some were smart and some were so boring and self centred I found myself trying not to fall asleep or worse say something that would probably get me in trouble.

All and all, the night was going well. The one thing I found hard to adjust too was being followed by the cameras but I soon learned to ignore them.

I haven't seen Bella since our little stare off earlier. I wonder where she is. I excused myself from the group of women and went in search. I didn't have to go far I found her right outside. She was with that other fuckable blond, Rosalie.

"Oh my god Bella he's coming our way." Rosalie said to Bella.

Bella didn't seem fazed at all as I approached them.

"Good evening ladies." I said in my smooth panty dropping voice, yeah I have one of those.

"Hi!" Rosalie said a bit high pitched. She was nervous I could tell, I guess I have that effect on the ladies and because I couldn't resist I took Rosalie's hand in mine and bought it to my lips placing a soft kiss on the back of her palm. I watched her melt before my eyes and resisted the urge to snicker.

"Oh please." Bella rolled her eyes. "Rose seriously go get yourself a change of panties."

"Bella." Rosalie punched Bella playfully.

"Isabella." I held my hand out to her hoping she would offer me hers but she didn't.

"Will you cut it with the sweet bullshit already? Am I the only one that can see you're full of shit."

"Um Miss? We are recording." One of the camera guys said.

"Oh excuse me, I am so sorry how rude of me." Bella said. She never took her eyes of me and I raised a brow wondering what she would do now.

"How rude of me to insult the bachelor himself. Edward it's such a pleasure to meet you. I have to say you are such an attractive man that my ovaries are practically jumping at the mere sight of you." She said fanning herself. "Is it hot out here?"

The fucking camera crew were laughing their asses off, along with Emmett, the shows host.

"That's cute, real cute." I said. You guys are going to cut that out." I asked the crew.

"Yeah we don't have a choice, but if it were up to me…" The camera guy said.

"Feel free to piss off now." Bella waved me off.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me wrapping an arm around her waist trapping her.

She pushed on my chest trying to get away.

"I like it rough and I'm guessing you do to." I said wagging my eyebrows at her.

"You are a fucking pig." She spat.

"Oh yeah baby, talk dirty to me"

"Okay, get your fucking filthy hands of off me before I rip your balls off and shove them so far up your ass you're going to be chewing on them." She said with a sweet smile on her face.

Why did her promising the destroy my manhood turn me on? I'm one sick fuck. I released her and backed away hoping that she hadn't felt my hard erection but luck was not on my side.

"You seem to have a little problem in your trousers, I guess you weren't kidding when you said you liked it rough." She snickered.

"Bella stop it, you don't want to go home do you?" Rosalie said

"Yes I do. Rose I only did this for you because you wouldn't relent, but come on this is ridiculous."

"Love is not ridiculous Bella, and maybe if you believed in it you might actually find someone to love you back."

So Rosalie was the friend who had suckered her into doing this show.

"How can anyone fall in love with him?" Bella pointed at me. "He's a jackass with little to no respect for the female race. He's a pig, slim, junk, dirt."

"Baby, why do you have to hurt my feelings like that?" I said trying to sound hurt. "You and me we can be so good together." I smirked.

"Do you see what I mean? Total pig." She yelled.

"What is going on here?" Jasper said. Where the hell did he appear from? "Emmett texts me saying I need to come and see the show, and I find you harassing one of the ladies. What the fuck?"

"She started it."

"Wow and you're so mature to!" Bella said.

"Seriously what's going on?" Jasper asked.

What's going on, I'll tell you what's going on everyone is going to get the fuck out of this house and I am going to fuck Bella in every single room in every single position I can think of.

Yeah it's obvious she doesn't like me, but that just makes me want her even more and like I said before she is so much fun when she's mad.

"Nothing is going on here." Bella answered Jasper before I could. "Edward and I were simply have a minor disagreement on the period of this spectacular house. Maybe you might be able to help us is it 1940's or 1950's?"

Jasper looked between the two of us obviously not buying her story but he was going along with it.

"I believe it's 1940's." he said.

"Ahh, see Edward I told you." Bella said.

"Jasper Whitlock, you motherfucker!" A voice yelled.

We all turned around. The one with the short back hair, kind of small...Alice was storming over to us. Jasper's eyes widened.

"How the fuck did she get in here?" He half whispered half yelled. He was slowly backing away as well. The closer Alice got us the further away he went.

"Don't you dare run away from me! You have some serious explaining to do!" She said.

"I'm getting out here. Hold her back." He said to the camera crew and Emmett. "And you..." He pointed to me. "No Rose, she goes home."

As soon as Alice reached us, Emmett grabbed her and pulled her back giving Jasper enough time to make his getaway.

"That bastard!" she yelled. "I'm going to get you don't you worry." She called after him.

"Ok short stuff, I'm going to keep you around not because you want me but because I want to make Jasper suffer. But you're going to have to tell me what is going on with the two of you."

"I'll only tell you after I get my rose." She said.

Fair enough.

"Deal."

* * *

"Ladies welcome to the first rose ceremony. Tonight there are 25 of you. However, there are only 20 roses, that means five of you will be going home." Emmett said.

It was the end of the night, the end of the party and it was time for the so called rose ceremony. I was told I had to pick 20 out of the 25. The only thing that meant to me was that I had to remember 20 names. Emmett said he'd stay behind me incase I needed some assistance. Hey it's not my fault, it's not like I can be expected to remember all their names after only have meet them only hours prior.

"Ladies here is your bachelor." Emmett said and that was my cue to step up.

I took his place next to the table that held the 20 roses.

God this felt weird. All these women staring at me with their desperate eyes. Taking a deep breath I picked up the first rose.

"Alice."

I could here some of the camera crew snicker and Emmett trying not to laugh behind me.

"Alice will you accept this rose?" I said holding the flower out to her.

"Yes I will." She took it eagerly, even kissed me on the cheek.

I picked up the next rose. One by one I went through the women.

"Rosalie."

"Carmen."

"Lauren."

"Jessica."

"Tanya." How could I say no to her?

Finally there were six ladies left, and only one rose but there was no doubt who it would be going to.

"Bella."

Her cheeks puffed and she gave me the most dirty look, but she came down anyways. I held the rose out to her.

"Bella, will you accept this rose?"

"Fine." She sighed taking the rose from me. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into my arms and kissed her cheek.

She stepped on my toe with her heel and whispered in my ear roughly.

"I'm going to make your life a living hell!"


End file.
